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So, You Want to Break Generational Curses?

I wrote this in my notes weeks ago, and I contemplated on whether or not I should post this on the blog or not. I sent it to one of my friends recently, and she told me that it looks like it would make a great blog post. So, I decided to post it! (Shout out to you, girl).

Over the last few years, there has been an uptick in the conversation surrounding the “breaking of generational curses”. In a way, I believe that this whole assignment has been romanticized. Breaking generational curses is NOT an easy feat. Everyone loves talking about “breaking generational curses” until they realize what truly comes with that. Here, let me give you a list:

  • push back from people who you thought would support you

  • therapy to heal personal and generational trauma

  • decisions that others wouldn’t usually make/taking chances/stepping out on faith

  • being willing to allow someone (not just anyone. Seek God for who this person should be) to offend you, so that you can truly grow

  • going against the mindsets and spirits that have kept these curses in place to begin with

  • “light-hearted” jokes about you (watch the jokes. One’s true sentiments usually are in them)

  • manipulative tactics

  • prayer and fasting

  • self-awareness, which comes from true discernment

  • dietary changes

  • being willing to set and stick to boundaries

  • being willing to respect other people’s boundaries

  • knowing better and doing better

  • choosing your battles and understanding that most battles aren’t worth the fight

  • not “sweeping things under the rug”

  • not choosing dysfunction and being able to recognize dysfunction

  • actually listening to others to understand and not to respond

  • reading and studying the Bible

  • not neglecting church

  • refusing to put an almighty God in a small box

  • being a good steward over your finances

  • calling yourself out on your own not-so-good ways

As you see, it’s a lot, and this honestly isn’t even all of it. Don’t expect to be accepted, appreciated, agreed with, liked, or even loved. Become okay with being uncomfortable because there will be a lot of that. Become okay with being misunderstood. It’s okay to be misunderstood. Become comfortable with the fact that you will make other people uncomfortable, and that’s okay. One of the worst mindsets to have is one where you feel it is okay to blindly follow. “Well, this is how we always have done things” has kept generations of people stuck in a rut— mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc.

This battle is spiritual. The Word of God clearly tells us that “the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God by the pulling down on strongholds” (2 Corinthians 10:4 KJV).

What do you think generational curses are? Strongholds that have been established, normalized, and passed on from generation to generation. (You can have strongholds in your personal life, of course, but there are also strongholds that are generational). Therefore, do not be surprised when once you decide to step outside of these ideologies, you face backlash.

You must also be willing to face yourself. Yes. Facing oneself is probably the most crucial part of this whole thing. Holding yourself accountable is the only (and I do mean only) way to truly grow. When you start to recognize the habits that you learned that have kept you in a rut, the goal should always be to work on them. Now, does this happen overnight? Of course not! None of this does. You are literally unlearning a lifetime of behaviors. Give yourself some grace! I once heard someone say, “if being hard on yourself actually worked, it would have worked by now”. It is 100% possible to hold yourself accountable while simultaneously showing yourself compassion.

What is required is more than just dancing in church or buying a pair of Gucci slides. I’ve often heard the saying, “dancing is alright, but you’ve got to live this life”. The book of James tells us, “Faith without works is dead”. (James 2:17). You cannot shout, and dance, and spend away issues that need serious addressing and major work. Listen, there’s nothing wrong with these things, at all. Praise is essential in the life of the Christian, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with luxury items. I dare not knock these things! However, I’ve noticed that many people do not want to do the necessary work that it takes to truly make a difference. It takes work. Being uncomfortable. And it’s messy. Very, very messy. So, I honestly understand why many people avoid it and keep it surface level. Going deeper is truly uncomfortable, and as humans, we do not like discomfort.

However, there are some of us out there who are willing to be uncomfortable for the sake of God’s purpose for us, because we know that He will see us through this. We know that even in the midst of the discomfort, all is well.

People who romanticize breaking generational curses have never been in a position to do so or haven’t truly done the “dirty work” that it takes to do this. To all of my black sheep out there. My quirky ones. My question askers. Those of us who aren’t afraid to admit our brokenness. Those of us who are open with God. Those who us who are a little “different” from what’s typical. Those of us who fall but keep getting back up. Keep the faith! God is doing a beautiful and great work in and through us for His glory. As beautiful as the work is, it’s messy. It requires discipline and intentionality. It requires rest, breaks and self-compassion. As we navigate this journey, know that God is with us every step of the way. He will never leave nor forsake us.

God bless. Here’s to better!

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